Some of my favorite cards in any set are the lands, weird statement I know, but I love fictional worlds, and I often find myself imagining what it might be like to live there, to leave behind the mundane day to day of earth and just engross myself in these places. To swim the beaches of Theros, ride a train on Thunder Junction or see the inventions of Kaladesh first hand. Which begs the question, where in the multiverse is best to call home, considering that the multiverse is a dangerous place. It was this question I found most intriguing.
So I did what any normal person would do—I researched every Plane from head to toe, scoring each on comfort, safety, and how many days you would likely survive, and ranked them from the worst to the best... If only I knew what I got myself into. From nightmare planes of hellish design or cozy forest communities and everything in between. Let’s kick things off with the Plane that I would never recommend you even stop by for a short visit, but stay till the end where I will reveal the best Plane in all the multiverse to call home.
New Phyrexia
If the multiverse had a hell it would be New Phyrexia. Everything about this Plane is hostile to organic life, simply put a fleshbag like you would soon find yourself strapped to a table, a scalpel to your skin, as you are replaced bit by bit with steel. But hey if you think flesh is weakness then maybe you'd find something oddly satisfying about it, you do you. Now for the rest of us normal people, the idea that you would stand out like a sore among the sleek metal exterior of this world is unsettling. Nightmares are made up of extreme situation. Comprised of 9 layers and ruled by 5 Praetors, New Phyrexia takes on the idea of compleation in varied and horrifying ways.
In some place all flesh must go and be replaced with sleek efficient metal, in others it means total devotion to spreading your way of life, you skin flayed like crimson robes a sign of commitment, and in other places it might mean the vicious cycle of kill or be killed until you either die or adapt in gruesome ways. Sure you might try and go back in time before this Plane was known as New Phyrexia, to when this Plane was known as Mirrodan you'd not be much better off. With no vegetation or water, and the face of the plane coated in steel, your human body would soon whither and die.
Needless to say New Phyrexia is at the bottom of the list because it is hostile to life in every way. As such I graded this Plane as a 0 for comfort, a 0 for safety and a total days survived of 2, and maybe that's even being generous. My guess is that you would find a place to hide, for a bit, until you caught the eye of one foul Phyrexian, then you would be swiftly taken away for completion. Sure you would technically still be alive, but gone would be any resemblance to person you once were, and every step of the way would be the sort of pain you've never experienced before.
Duskmourn
In our next stop things don't fair all that much better. Imagine if you will, a world where every darkest nightmares come to life, that's Duskmourn. Sure you could maybe stay away from the house, but the lands outside aren't all that much better, and sooner or later the house would consume you, as it consumed much of this Plane. Inside 'House' as its called, a proper name for a proper entity, you find that nothing is as it seems. The walls shift, the rooms grow, with layers devoted to specific fears. Monsters worse than any movie, slasher obsessed with the act of killing, and every other twisting concept that lies in the back of our minds. At the heart of House is a demon, ancient and vile, their will permeates everything, a sickness that swallows all.
But let's say you landed in one of the dark woods outside House, which would be the best case scenario. Here in the woods everything is perpetually dark, the once dual suns reduced to the smaller, barely strong enough to emit a dull glow across the landscape. While camping out you notice a crooked window where there once was just bush, and before you know it another and another. You stand to run but as you turn a door swallows you, and now you find yourself in house.
From here there is only torment and torture. With all this in mind I scored the Plane as a 0 for comfort, and a 1 for safety, as there are survivors here, and you could potentially learn to last a little longer under their guidance. Now as for days survived, well you would probably only last a good three days. One in your camp, one with the survivors, but on day three one wrong turn and you find yourself in the hands of one of the razorkin, your flesh soft and ready for slaughter.
Innistrad
A little bit of garlic and a silver bullet won't do you all that much good on the gothic horror Plane of Innistrad, where every corner hides a monster waiting to tear you apart, and hell the humans of this world aren't much kinder either. Innistrad has dealt with many horrors over the years, from the slasher and werewolf, to the cosmic and supernatural. It isn't about if you lose your life in a horrific way here, but rather when. Sure you could find a city and try and build a life, but such hopefulness is naïve on Innistrad where there is always this sense of dread like a heavy blanket draped over horizon.
Because of this, I would rate the comfort of this Plane as a 2, because yes, you could find a job and attempt to settle down but you would always be watching your back sure that the next dark corner might hold your end, for the same reasons I would also rate the safety at a 1, which I don't think it warrants much explanation, you get the idea at this point. Now I will say that you will be able to make it for a bit here, I calculate that you would last 28 days. You would arrive to one of Innistrad's small towns, you find someone who pities you as a lost traveler, a fisherman who helps you find a job and gives you a place to stay in exchange for work.
After a nearly a month you really start to believe that you have found a new home, but one night while walking home from the pub after you had a great night with your new mates you notice a shadow seems to be following you, and before you can move its on top of you, sucking all the blood from your body, leaving but a husk in the streets, another traveler to be forgotten.
Amonkhet
Oh Amonkhet, a Plane where death creeps in all around you, and nothing but a thin veil protects you from the endless desert where the dead crawl along sandy dunes. But even if you are inside of Amonkhet proper, death is still everywhere. You watch Mummies, wrapped in bandages walk about the city completing basic tasks, and you note how everyone around you is rather young, leaving you curious why there are no old people. You come to learn that everyone is bound to the will of ancient being and that all who are able must train their whole life to compete in trials where there is only one winner.
There is nothing else here for you, and these laws enforced and held up as the true purpose by the gods who walk among you. Since you are new here you are allowed some days in training before the trial begins. Everyone seems hopeful, and yet you can't break this sinking feeling. None the less training goes on for a month and some days, and it's now the time of the trials. You know you aren't ready for some test, even if you have spent painful days training your body, but you are of age and so you are sent.
You should have known something wasn't right when they refereed to you and the others as crops. You barely make it through the trial of Solidarity with the help of your other crop mates, and you even make it past the trial of knowledge, clever as you are. But upon facing the final trial, that of strength, you are swallowed by a giant crocodile. By my estimation you survived 33 days. As for rating your stay, I would give this Plane a score of 3 for comfort, as up until the trials all your needs are taken care of by those Mummies you saw when you entered, and even though the training is harsh you come to appreciate it, but as for safety, well I will stick with a 0, because even if you can win every trial, the reward for all of your hard work is to die at the hands of Hazoret.
Tarkir
War, war never changes, especially on the Plane of Tarkir, where conflict seems to be more of a way of life than something to avoid. Tarkir is a land of wild untamed beauty and a rich history that is split between two timelines, one where the dragons are each masters of five clans, or one where they long since dead and the huminoid inhabitants carry on in a similar structure, either way its a land of perpetual conflict where each of the clans are constantly at odds with one another and the only moral code is strength.
Those five clans are important to note as your allegiance will have to fall to one of them, they are Abzan, Jeskai, Sultai, Mardu and Temur. From my experience your best chance for living a longer life is to join the Jeskai monks, and spend your days training and honing both body and mind. That said it will be hard work and the time will come where action must be taken, but its a lot better than trying to prove yourself to the Mardu Horde. As such I will scorre the comfort of this Plane with a 2, as in those cold mountains you will lead a hard life, even if its rewarding, as for safety I would give it a 2.
As for how many days I calculate that you would survive well that would be a total of 44 days. Like I said conflict finds you anywhere on Tarkir and during a fight where you and other monks are defending one of your temples you are mortally wounded. You do manage to put up a valiant fight, pushing on after losing an arm, but eventually you succumb to your wounds and are left bleeding out in the snow, this life wasn't meant for someone accustom to earth's comforts.
Zendikar
Zendikar is a Plane for those with an adventurous spirit, one where you can never be to certain of what's around the next corner. There is also no denying its a beautiful world with breathtaking scenery, but its one that is unsympathetic to your capabilities. On Zendikar when the roil shifts so too does your very footing, elemental forces come to life and nothing around you seems to obey any logic, as stones the size of houses float above your head. But for those who are athletic and adventurous its a world with a lot of amazing things to see and treasures to find.
Of course you lived your life comfortably on earth up until now, and this isn't a Plane that will give you a chance to sit and take a breather. Nor is it a world where any true city lasts long, instead most of its inhabitants are rather Nomadic, like the Kor, who have learned to rappel along cliff faces, or the merfolk who mingle with the turbulent seas. Considering all of this I give this world a 2 for comfort, as there are breathtaking spots of serenity that can be found, even if it is temporary, and a 2 for safety, because your time here will be hard and will require you to keep moving, and all it will take is one wrong step.
That's why when we calculate your days survived we find that you only make it 46 days. Sure you may have ingratiated yourself with the Kor who taught you their mode of transportation and allowed you to live among them. But after one of your hooks doesn't find purchase while swinging over a gap you fall to your death, your final moments recounting how you should have zigged where you had zagged.
Ikoria
Ikoria the Plane of beasts, where humans are no where near the top of the food chain. Stepping foot on Ikoria means you had better always be watching your back, and where you best not make any assumptions of what any animal is capable of. You see evolution is running on hyper drive here, and there isn't one creature you will find without a unique trait. Think of lions with wings, lava serpents, sharks with arms, and any other wild thing your imagination can conjure up. That's also not to mention the creatures like Snapdax who lives to feast on humans, fueled by a hatred for them.
Once you land here I would suggest you search for one of the human factions on the Plane who have each crafted unique ways to survive here. Like sky cities held up by hot air balloons, ones carved into the side of mountains with lava flows used like barrier, to the tried and tested strategy of build a giant wall. Either way staying out in the open is not an option if you don't want to be somethings dinner.
Considering all of this I would rate the comfort of this plane at a 3, so long as you can get into one of the great cities, and then for safety I would give a 2, as there isn't any other way you slice it, life is tough here for us bipedal animals. That's why I would calculate that you would survive 54 days. Sure you were lucky enough to be let into the great walls of Drannith, the so called Invincible city, but one night while watching the walls a creature scaled it only to find you sleeping at your post, gobbling you up before any of your allies could raise a spear.
Lorwyn / Shadowmoor
Lorwyn Shadowmoor is a Plane of two faces, of cycles that bend from tranquility to nightmares, of night and day. You see on this world everything changes every 300 hundred years during an event called the Great Aurora. During the so called day cycle the Plane is known as Lorwyn a land of perpetual daylight, with it never getting darker than dusk at the end of its days. While Shadowmoor is a land shrouded in eternal darkness where the sun is obscured on the best of days. This contrast is perpetuated in everything, as lorwyn is scenic and green, while Shadowmoor is haunting and grey.
Both sides of this world contain the same inhabitants but upon the flip neither remember their past life and they become a different version of themselves. During the eternal night the fairies are devious beings who steal from your dreams, and during the day the elves are creatures obsessed with beauty. For the rare visitor who manages to stumble upon this world they often note how idyllic it is to be among the beauty of this Plane, but even then that's giving the Lorwyn side a bit to much credit.
You know those elves I spoke of, well they have a ritual of killing boggarts for simply being these ugly little things, and compared to an elf I don't think you would find yourself on their right side anyway. And of course if you were unlucky enough to land here during the night cycle, well things get a lot worse. Its obviously hard to rate a Plane that is two in one, but I would place the score somewhere in the middle. Giving it a 3 for comfort and a 3 for safety. Of course you weren't so lucky, and after a couple months into your stay the lands shifted and night fell. You managed to pull off another 4 days... at least you think it was, its hard to keep track of time here, but while you sat huddled against a fire you crafted for warmth you caught the attention of a group of cinder, who jealous of your flame, killed you and took it for themselves.
Alara
In the past Alaraa was a fractured Plane split into 5 shards, each of which was comprised of only 3 colors of mana, solidifying them as very distinct regions from one another, but after the conflux they have all come crashing back together, causing chaos across this world, as each Shards clash based on their fundamental differences. The regions in which these once separated lands meet, are often the places of conflict as vastly different ways of life are like oil and water. With the lands of Esper attempting to assimilate the organic, the vile zombies of Grixis gnawing at all that is good, the warriors of Jund searching for new hunting grounds, the elves of Naya looking to spread out from their jungles and the Knights of Bant aiming to bring order to chaos.
All of which will never find some happy middle ground, with constant war an inevitability. This is where you find yourself today as you arrive on Alaraa. Comfort is a variable thing, and you would be lucky to live among the lands of Bant, though they would put you to work soon after, but anything would be better than finding yourself in the lands of Grixis. Where your flesh would be torn and consumed. So let's be generous and say you live in the corner carved out by Bant, which would give you a score of 4 for comfort and a 4 for safety, as the life of a knight requires of you bravery and a willingness to fight for your people.
It's this duty put upon you that means you most likely will live for 83 days. The first couple months are spent training as a squire, a life you start to wonder will suit you. As even though its tough there you can feel a real sense of camaraderie and you think that perhaps this isn't going to be all bad. That is until you are finally sent on patrol of the borders on the 80th day. Accompanied by 6 knights and another squire you march for a a few days, with little else but some small skirmishes, that is until you are ambushed in the night by a pack of zombies lead by a terrifying demon. Your last moments are violent and in the end everyone is lost, except for you who is taken back to work the mines endlessly.
Ixalan
Ixalan is beautiful, there is no doubt about it, with its lush jungles, crystal blue beaches and breathtaking mountains. You might think to yourself that you found the perfect vacation spot in the multiverse, who cares about places like Cancun. But the reality is that Ixalan is a wild place with danger equal to its beauty. Think Jurassic park, Pirates of the Caribbean and Aztec civilization all rolled into one, oh yeah and did I mention there are also vampire conquistadors. Finding your place here won't be a walk in the park, no it'll take a resourceful person to survive here let alone thrive. Your best bet would be to pick one of the factions to join as there is no going alone out here.
Perhaps you could be taken in by the Merfolk, so long as you are a strong swimmer and are willing to always be on the move through jungle and water. Another option is the Brazen Coalition, the major pirate faction made up of humans, goblins and Orcs. But you will have to prove you have an iron will and a desire for adventures to last with them. Another suggestion, and one I don't take lightly is the Legion of Dusk, sure they might see you as food, but if they do let you in then you better be willing to take the Rite of Redemption and become a vampire. Finally there is the Sun Empire, those who live alongside the dinosaurs. Whatever your choice I don't think it has as dire effect on the score as you might think, meaning I would give it a 4 for comfort and a 4 for safety.
As such I calculate that you would last 89 days. Perhaps you took on the life of an adventure, washed up on shore the Brazen Coalition took you into their ragtag group of pirates. Its tough but there is a sense of fun and adventure to be found. You feel a part of something, a group of outcasts who only have each other. But while sailing you raid a Legion ship. A hard fought battle ensues but due to your lack of combat experience you die fighting, a sword piercing your gut, and as you lay there bleeding out one of the vampires drains what little life essence you have left.
Kaldheim
Kaldheim the Plane of Legends, sagas and mead, it's a Plane where anyone can forge their own story. It's a world where the gods can walk among mortals, and a place where even the lowest serf can rise to the title of hero, but you better be willing to put yourself to the test, lest you cut your legends short and find your soul taken, carried away by one of the Valkyrie. Kaldheim is a plane split into 10 realms with the Omenpaths bridging each world. You may know Omenpaths from Magics current stories, as the way in which non-planeswalkers can now travel between worlds, well this is where those paths originated. As a human you would most likely find yourself on Bretagard.
But just because this isn't Immersturm or Karfell doesn't mean its going to be a cake walk. The humans of this realm are made from the same grit that is required to survive in a Plane full monsters, demons and deities, so you best pick up an axe and be ready to swing it. That said the inhabitants here are willing to share a cold drink by a warm fire so long as you can prove yourself to be a worthy mortal. This is why I place its comfort score a bit higher than Ixalan, at 5 as we are starting to find ourselves surrounded by the comforts we are used, but only barely.
As for safety it just barely makes it to a 4 out of 10. Sure you could somehow carve out a simple life but at some point you will be faced with great danger. Meaning you will only make it 104 days by my calculations. Just when you were starting to find a rhythm, make some friends, and get acclimated to the cold weather a doomscar rips open and demons from Immersturm pour out. Your village is wiped out in a single raid, death everywhere you look, and while you were starting to get confident with the blade, it really was no match for the might of these vicious raiders.
Thunder Junction
Have you ever wanted to be a cowboy? To hunt down bounties, wrestle some cattle, or rob a moving train, well then Thunder Junction is for you. The Plane of misfits, outcasts and outlaws, here we have a Plane that brings all the no good rough and tumble characters into one Place. Like Amonkhet, Thunder Junction is a dessert Plane, vast and endless, but at least here you can spend your days in a saloon rather than fighting for for your life... or death I suppose. That's why I place it here above even Kaldheim, as it's a land where you could carve out a real life, it's just that it might be cut short during a shootout or crossing the wrong outlaw.
For these reasons I would score Thunder Junction with a 6 for comfort and a 4 for safety. Because like I said, whose to say that you couldn't settle down and take care of a ranch, but that life might be met with toiling desert soil and potentially being buried under it when you make a bad deal with one of the Multiverses many villains who stop through. Maybe without the omenpaths bringing in the worst of the blind eterneties this plane might be better off, but as a magnet for villains I wouldn't place your odds of surviving to high. For this reason I would calculate that you make it a total of 145 days.
For some time you attempt to work as a ranch hand but the money isn't great and the sleeping conditions aren't much better. So one night at the saloon you get roped into a job, just one small one and you can retire, why not. But that ends up being your undoing. You see while the job goes off without a hitch, you unfortunately are taking a cut of the profits so with you out of the way the pie seems a lot bigger, and you are shot down by the gang leader and left in the dust.
Dominaria
Dominaria is the heart of the multiverse, and home its most stories. Beautiful by any measure, and rich in diverse biomes, Dominaria is the closest you'll get to feeling like a whole world, rather than the slice of one, that the Planes can often feel like. Now don't go wandering off though, as not all biomes and civilizations are created equal, at least for a simple traveller like you. For every beacon of civilization like Terisia or Vesuva, there are dark lands where no one aught go like Shiv or Krosa. It's also important to consider that Dominaria has had to deal with many devastating events, such as warring brothers with god like powers, Cataclysms, two Phyrexian invasions, an Ice age, and countless skirmishes wars and disasters. It's not the kind of Plane that can go very long without some fresh new catastrophe taking place.
You could try your hand at getting into the Tolarian college to study Magic, but this school isn't just letting everyone in, you might have more luck with the community version. Considering Dominaria's vast landscape and turbulent history I would score the Plane with a 6 but as for safety we will be sticking with a 5, as you never know if you arrived on the Plane in time for its next disaster, invasion or war. Now this does make my calculations difficult, as there are so many variations of how your trip could play out.
Maybe you spend your days learning magic, only for one experiment to send you into a new timeline, perhaps you end up becoming a Benelish knight, or you die early in the swamps of Urborg. With so much potential for both good and bad, I decided to place Dominaria somewhere near the middle of this list, and will give it an average estimate for days to live at 187 days. All I can say is good luck on Dominaria, Magic's plane of endless stories.
Eldraine
Eldraine is a Plane ripped straight from the pages of old fairy tales. For better or worse this means a land where Gingerbread houses come to life, fairies make mischief, witches toil over bubbling cauldrons and valiant knights fight to protect the innocent. In Eldraine there is always a tale to be told, and whether you are the hero or the victim of the story all depends on how you play your cards in this world, but again as some normal person from the Plane of earth you might find yourself falling for a trick rather than a treat. In many ways this world is the colourful version of Innistrad, where monsters lurk around every corner, even if they look like candy canes or sweet old ladies.
You're best bet is to find a kingdom that best suits you, whether that be the Castle Ardenvale, Embereth, Garenbrig, Lockthwan or Vantress. You will want to ingratiate yourself among the humans of this world, and start your life abiding by their customs. As such Eldraine is rated as a 6 for comfort and a 5 for safety, as while you may be able to find a home among the great kingdoms, one wrong path down the forest, one trusted trickster or one wrong bridge will mean the end of your stay.
My calculations put your days survived at 204, with your best odds being among the people of Ardenvalle, a kingdom of light and cooperation. There you become a baker, learning to make breads and treats. The town centre is always bustling as people go about their days, while knights march down the streets. You are just starting to feel at home, but one day a delivery takes you to a cottage outside of town. As it turns out a witch, posing as a simple old lady, wanted you specifically. You see she was hungry, just not for bread.
New Capenna
New Capenna resembles a period in time within the history of our own earth, just twisted in that Magic sort of way. Run by gangs who each carve out their own piece of this 30's inspired art deco world, it brings with it both comfort and crime. It's a great Plane to visit for its amazing parties, near modern amenities and fascinating culture, but it is equal parts danger as well. With racketeering, robbery, murder and any manor of underground activity, it will take streets smarts to last a moment on New Capenna. To even hope to survive you best pledge your allegiance to one of the gangs as its the kind of city that will eat the unprotected and uninitiated alive.
Pick from the five main groups: the Brokers who sign contracts and provide muscle, the rivateers who build and brawl, the Obscura who deal in secrets and whispers, the Maestros who handle art and murder for hire, the Cabaretti who deal in culture and coin. Whatever your choose you will soon find yourself intertwined in the ever shifting politics of the Plane. These factors all culminate in a comfort score of 7, as it's a world that can bring with it a good life, while the safety score of 5 proves that you will have to navigate a lot of danger in the process.
Calculating the results we find that you would survive here for 259 days. You almost make it a year, your reputation beginning to build, as someone who is reliable. Sure you have to get your hands dirty but whose hands are clean on this Plane. You even start to carve out your own little slice of heaven, a nice apartment in a good area. But it all comes to a head when a hitman is sent to end your life, as it turns out one of the deals you had made fell through and you're the one taking the fall for it. To bad because you were really starting to enjoy the nightlife on the Plane that never sleeps.
Theros
Theros is a Plane rich with faith, which props up its pantheon of gods. Each of which represent different aspects of both life and death. And much like the gods of Greek mythology, the inhabitants of this Plane are often stuck in the middle of their whims and interpersonal squabbling. But if you can find a god to give your allegiance to, and find your place within this world you will come to see that Theros is rich in magnificent cultural and spiritual centres, serine landscapes and breathtaking monuments. Its a Plane where you can get swept up in philosophical debates and festivals of debauchery. But all is not just sun and fun.
Theros is also home to creatures that can swallow up fleets of ships and crush legions. Hell is also a very real place here, where if you die, be prepared to spend an eternity in torment. And remember those gods I spoke about, Theros has no room for atheism, as you best find a god and gain its favour otherwise you are going to have a tough time making it here. Considering these factors I rate Theros as a 7 for comfort and a 6 for safety. You see, while the major cities are great places to call home, the threat of that home being wiped out, drawing the ire of a god, or simply getting swallowed whole by a beast of some magnitude is a real and constant threat here.
The people of Theros are but minor actors in the games of greater entities, and it simply takes one wrong move to end up in Nyx. Going to the survival calculator I can see that you would survive a total of 289 days. One of the great temples takes you in as they see you wandering the city aimless. You apprentice there, learning what you can of your new home and helping with ceremonies. You spend your days off along the beach soaking in the sun. But one day cataclysm strikes. The barriers holding the titans away break, and Kroxa smashes through your temple, consuming all in its path. You stand there frozen in fear, nothing has prepared you for such a sight. With a swipe of its arm Kroxa picks you up, consumes you and moves on.
Ravnica
Ravnica is to the multiverse as New York is to America; a melting pot of cultures, factions and a constant sense of goings on. Divided into 10 guilds, each of who vie for their own influence under that of the guildpact, are an endless source of push and pull on this Plane, while each provides certain duties that keep this vibrant cityscape moving. Now when I say cityscape I mean it, the entire Plane of Ravnica is consumed by city streets, giant buildings, and vast city centres. So if you prefer quiet country roads then this world is not for you, while on the other hand if you thrive in cities that never sleep you may find comfort here. And just as New York seems to be the center of every major event in American movies, Ravnica is host to many of its own.
From the great War of the spark to the murders at Karlov Manor, Ravnica is a city plane where a day hardly goes by where something doesn't happen, and it will be up to you to navigate the politics of this world. With all of that in mind I would still rate Ravnica as a 7 for comfort, as this is a Plane that is structured and somehow familiar, but the danger lurks everywhere, so for safety it barely cracks a 6. You see its easy to find yourself arrested for a minor infraction from the Azhorius, walk into a party you may never return from with the Rakdos, end up in the rotting clutches of the Golgari, or be stuck with a debt payed after death by the hand of the Orzhov.
And that's not to mention the many spectres, spiders and spirits that lurk its dark corners. By my calculations you would last 374 days here on Ravnica, not bad for someone new to the city. You manage to navigate the your way through everything the city brings your way, and your life is starting to form here. You end up joining the Selesnya guild because they are all too willing to take in anyone who is wants to cooperate with their cause. It gives you a chance to make friends, and be among nature within the endless city that is Ravnica. But against your best judgment after a night out on the town you decide to witness these legendary Rakdos parties you've heard so much about.
But that would be your last mistake, as before you know it you're on stage. You are strapped to a large wooden circle which is then hoisted up. A grinning Rakdos clown grips a handful of knives and starts throwing them at you while the circle begins to spin. His aim seems perfect, until one of those knives buries itself into your chest, the last thing you hear is wretched laughter.
Kamigawa
If you wanted to travel to another world but you didn't want to leave behind the technology you have become so accustom to then perhaps Kamigawa is the Plane for you. On Kamigawa the future is now while the ancient past is not forgotten. Kamigawa is a Plane of dichotomy of sorts, a balancing act that is ever precarious. You might walk among tranquil zen gardens only to see a mech fly by, its amour reminiscent of the samurai's. You may walk among the busy neon city streets, only to stop and look heavenward at the ancient tree Boseju. Kami are worshiped, ancient spirits, like a thread still tying the world to its roots while biker gangs with leather jackets shed tradition for movement. The contrasts are endless on Kamigawa, and the Plane is better for it, but how does it rank as a world you could call home.
Well like I said it may be the closest you might get to our world, as far as modern comforts, so comfort really is one of its strong suites siting with a score of 8. But don't let me just hype up this world with endless praise, all those comforts mean nothing when demons, spirits, gangs, and conflict litter the city streets. You know that precarious balance I spoke of, well that is reflected in the constant push and pull from each of the factions of this world who have their own ideas for the future of Kamigawa.
As such I would rate it as a 6 for safety. By my calculations you would last 481 days on Kamigawa. With your limited grasp of earth's technologies, you feel drawn to the engineers of this Plane, but it doesn't get you much higher than the rank of Mechanics apprentice for one of the Mech's for the Imperial Court. The job pays well, and I mean you get to tinker on a giant robots each day. You start to build a life, fall in love.
Perhaps this is home. But of course as we have learned the multiverse is a dangerous place for uninitiated. One night while walking the under-city you hear a childlike voice, and they seem to be in trouble. You follow it until you come to a bridge, you peer inside, its dark, and the girl has gone silent. Before you can react a spirit pulls you in, the only cry now is that of your own being cut short.
Arcavios
Arcavios is a wild Plane with a long history, but when most people think of this world the great Strixhaven school is what comes to mind, the multiversal school of Magic. Where those with the ability to traverse the multiverse, which is everyone with access to an Omenpath these days, takes their youths to be trained in varying arcane arts. There are five schools of Magic here, each founded by 5 different elder dragons, as different ways to interact with mana and the arcane. From those that use it to uncover ancient secrets to those that have found mathematical connections to Magic. If your intent to travelling the blind eternities was to learn Magic then this is where you want to go.
Now I wouldn't recommend travelling outside of the school grounds unless you have an escort, as Arcavios as a Plane is still rather wild with some dark mysteries that have yet to be uncovered, where wild untamed magic warps the landscape in odd ways, and structures of arched stones float in odd patterns. But if you play your cards right then Strixhaven, is a great place to call home, well until your final term is up. With these factors all in play I would rate Arcavios, and specifically Strixhaven, with a 8 score for comfort and a score of 7 for safety. Like every Magic school, messing around with the arcane can have some unintended consequences that could potentially cut your stay short.
Calculating your life expectancy here I would say you make it 4 and a half years. Your learning is tough at first with no prior experience to magic, but over time something starts to click and you can tap into a world of Magic you never thought possible. This then breads greater curiosity, you are hungry to learn more, but the bounds of the school walls is far to limiting. So one night you and friend head out, wanting to study some ancient ruins. Deep within you find an old artifact, your friend is starting to get nervous now but you only get more curious. You place your hand on it, a glow rushing forth from it, you hear a voice whisper an ancient language in your ear and in an instant everything goes white. You don't know where you are, but you come to learn you are trapped in some other dimension. That curiosity of yours will soon be satiated, but you are unsure of when you will ever get back.
Kaladesh
On Kaladesh technology and Magic seem to blur the lines, with the mana coursing through the Plane powering great machines of industry. In the past this Plane has dealt with much civil unrest, but after the aid of the Gatewatch things have settled down, now making it a better place than ever to travel to. With an aesthetic that seems to bridge the gap between Indian and solar-punk architecture, the cities are bright and beautiful, while the landscape is rich and gorgeous because of the relationship technology has with the natural elements of Kaladesh. Of course this Plane has its own dangers, all of them do, but this is the point in the list where a real home can be made, and a real life can be carved out.
That's why I would rate Kaladesh as an 9 for comfort and an 8 for safety. Truthfully you could make this place your home and as long as no other revolutions take place you might actually just make it. That's why I can't really calculate a time to live here, but in the interest of keeping things consistent lets put it to the calculator. Checking the results I see that you make it a total of 10 years on Kaladesh. You make a home among the people, you learn a trade that makes you useful. You fall in love and start a family. Things are going great, but one day while working on one of its great works, you slip from a high spot. As it turns out you weren't strapped in properly and plummet to your death. A funeral is held for you and your family mourns the passing of the traveller they called friend.
Bloomburrow
When you arrive in Bloomburrow you come to find that there are no humans to be found here, not even humanoid races like elves, rather it's a Plane populated only by animals. As it turns out anyone who arrives here is turned into an animal, and the animal you become seems to reflect your personality in some way, as we saw with Jace and Tamiyo. Bloomburrow is also unique in that while each animal represents its own faction and section of colours, there seems to be a real sense of cooperation here. This isn't a world with competing guilds or warring gangs, but rather groups of animals who each have their own specialty which is then added to the whole.
Which is why we see different animal groups working together on many of the cards within this set. With the only real antagonistic force being the calamity beasts who bring with them violent change. This places Bloomburrow in a special position, because the danger is not really internal but rather external. Meaning for a traveller like you this is the best Plane to arrive and find a home within three tree city, just don't travel past the outer woods. Perhaps you spend your days as a rabbit, farming and baking, or you swim with the otters, playing ring ball with friends.
Whatever the case I would place Bloomburrow as the ideal spot for a traveller from earth to call home. That's why I place it as a 9 for comfort and a 9 for safety. Sure we can't really hit a perfect score in the multiverse but this is as close as it gets. I also believe that baring a catastrophe you can live here indefinitely, so long as you follow the traditions that have held valley in a state of relative peace for so long.
Thanks for reading all the way to the end, I know this was a bit of a longer one and took me some time to put together. So if you enjoyed it then be sure to become a site member that way you can be notified when the next article goes live, and with that friends, I will catch you in the multiverse, bye!
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